More about where this is going. I am trying to get to the bottom of a number of issues. But one which comes up continually if my refusal to please myself. Let me take a look at this so you’ll know what I mean.
I went to a restaurant today, it happened to be Korean. I like the food, and the cooks all look like mothers rather than people who came out of the Food Network. The restaurants have a homey feeling because they are intergenerational-the people working there seem to span ages between the twenties and the seventies.
I checked out the menu. There were two things that I was considering. The first was a rice dish with beef (it has a definite Korean spin). The second was a fried chicken dish. Now interestingly enough, Korean fried chicken can be really good. Great competition for Colonel Saunders. And normally it’s not that greasy. So I had a decision to make as to what I was going to have for lunch.
Here’s how that went. The rice dish is probably better for me. Fried = bad. But I really wanted the fried chicken. So the issue became should I order what I want or order something that perhaps is better for me? The rice won. The point for me here is a crucial one. Rather than please myself I opted for the “right thing”. Probably less greasy, but the rice is fried as well. So I went with the rice dish.
I was kicking myself for not going with what I wanted. So no matter which way I went, I had an issue. My goodness! How can you live a life that way! The truth is that you can’t.
Why Can’t I Please Myself?
The question ultimately is why I simply cannot choose to please myself. The song that I am reminded of is one from the Mamas and the Papas: Go where you wanna go.
The key lyrics are:
You gotta go where you want to go
Do what you want to do
With whoever you want to do it with
So my decision making is flawed. Why? Decisions I believe should be influenced by the things that would make me happy when it comes to small stuff. The unfortunate part of all this is my decisions are often influenced by practicalities that have nothing to do with anything. Regardless of which choice, I make I will also be burdened with buyers remorse. All in all, it’s a “lose, lose” situation. Why not just go with what I want to do? Why not just go with what I want to do? Don’t know. But, it requires practice. Practice means that you try to change your behavior that has been learned over a number of years.
I believe that over time, well established “paths” are developed in our brains. Through years of doing, we establish our behavior. Many authors have commented on this. It’s why it becomes so hard to change the way we do things. You can think of it as a path that is worn in the grass over a number of years of people walking over it. Unless we take a different direction, the grass won’t grow back.
So I need to practice. Take a different path to allow the grass to grow back or I’ll keep walking the same way.