Getting Your Act Together – Why Is It So Hard?
It seems rather difficult, getting your act together. The world seems to be conspiring against you. But in fact, are you conspiring against yourself? In the context of getting ahead in life I have found a couple of things that have been very important to me that I failed to get right:
- Generally speaking, strangers really don’t care about you. It’s not that they are mean people. They wish you no harm, but they don’t care about you. As a result, any advice that they may give you is pretty much not worth anything. I have found that my discussions with others, even the closest of friends, yields advice that I should have probably ignored. Friends or close acquaintances are in my opinion probably the worst. They mean well, but the advice is generally in the form of “here is what you should do, but I wouldn’t do it”. Unless you’re paying for it, it’s probably not worth much. So how do you get advice? Professionals. A psychiatrist, a lawyer, and business acquaintances who are pretty much in the same situation. Skip colleagues, it’s a competitive world out there!
- Give of yourself, expecting nothing in return. You need to develop the art of getting pleasure from doing onto others while expecting nothing in return. If you expect anything back, you’ll be disappointed. That disappointment will grow into cynicism. It’s unavoidable. Being always cynical is toxic to your own well being. Besides, it gets you nowhere anyway. Trust me, I know this from experience.
- Assume in the workplace that each and everyone is there to sabotage you. That won’t always be the case, but I have twenty-five years of working experience that is a testimonial to this statement. I have been screwed by others who have faces like saints. Remember always, everyone wants to get ahead. Everyone wants to succeed by their own measure of success. It’s not that they want to harm you, but they will bury you in order to get ahead. Work together, and play together. But in the workplace when it comes right down to it it’s every one for themselves. You can find temporary allies who may have the same objectives as you do. But it will only be temporary. Understanding this is liberating.
- Ignore the naysayers. There will be those who say that you can’t do it. They will be right if you are not committed to what you do. Commitment and perseverance are always the keys to virtually everything. There will be those who say to you: “There is a fine line between being delusional and optimistic.” Ignore those people. They are either envious of what you are trying to do or would like to sabotage you psychologically. Develop your own compass to make sure that you are heading in the right direction.
Final Thoughts on This Post
These are only a few things to consider. There will be more ideas that I will put out there. These ideas have to be internalized so they become just a natural reaction to any situations that might come up. Bear in mind that there will be situations that don’t fit the mold. There always are. But as long as you keep your eye on the ball remembering that you can only take/help others if you take care/help yourself is key. Help a colleague or friend expecting nothing in return. Perhaps they will pleasantly surprise you. A bonus! And at the same time, you won’t be disappointed if they drop the ball.